No I am not selfish, I am being a teacher to my baby

I am a little confused as to why anyone would say that scheduling your baby and training them to sleep is a selfish act. So today I shall stand in defence of the ‘selfish’ mums as I am one of them, I scheduled my baby, I trained my baby to sleep, I am happy I did that and I am sure my baby is happy that there is a plan a system and he did not have to grope in the dark trying to teach himself everything. No I did not do it because I wanted to keep my job, I was a stay at home mum, and I had all the time in the world. I did it because it is best for my baby, and me and no it is not easy work, it is hard work so I am not lazy. It makes you be a very hands-on parent and you have lots of influence on the lil baby.

Let me throw away some misconceptions, sleep training doesn’t have to involve Cry It Out, this is where you put you baby to bed and if they start crying, you let them go on for like 10 minutes before you pick them and put them back and the cycle continues until they sleep. I did not do the CIO but I trained my baby. I know mothers who have not sleep trained their children but get so overwhelmed that they just let the baby cry, 20 minutes, 30 minutes and the baby eventually sleeps.

Your maternal instincts are very key when you are training you baby, do not follow the advice as a rule, but rather use it as a guide. I used the Contented Little Baby book and some mums say that they cannot use it because she-Gina Ford- gives advice on raising children yet she is not a mother, but I am a mother, I have used her advice and it has worked for me, I know a very good number of other mums who have used her advice and it has worked for them, sometimes Passion Supersedes Experience.

When you go to school, there is a plan, a timetable, get to school at this time, you are in class from 8:30, break time is at 10 lunch is at 12:30. When you go to work, the company says be at the office by 8 AM, lunch break is 1 hour leave the office at 4:30. Never at one point do we say, the school is very selfish, they have a timetable and the math teacher has to come at this point, we never say our employer is the most selfish person because we are at the office at this hour, it is a system that is in place that works.

So why would we say to the mother who has a system that she is selfish, you do not let the baby stay awake until 3 AM when she finally falls asleep by herself. We are the parents, we understand times and dates, we know Sunday from Wednesday and I believe it is my responsibility to teach my child. To think I am being selfish because I am teaching my son is unfair, because you never think the same of the teacher or your boss.

There is absolutely no medal for the mother who suffered the most, the one who was up most of the nights, the one who was sleep deprived the most, the one who breastfed a crying baby from 7pm to 7am and had to be at work at 8:30 and preform at her best, the one who lost herself in trying not to be ‘selfish’. In fact, there are higher chances of post-partum depression without a plan because you have absolutely no idea what is happening, when it is happening and the feeling of being overwhelmed when you are sleep deprived and haven’t had a chance to shower because your baby cannot be alone for more than 5 minutes are higher.

A happy confident baby in my view is one, who is able to play well, eat well and sleep well. Eat well doesn’t mean eat all the time, but have a nice good feed at all mealtimes. Sleep well means, sleep for a good block of hours at night and nap well during the day, play well I am sure you all understand play.

So when I training my baby, I am not being selfish, I am being a good teacher and fulfilling my call to bring up a whole, well-rounded confident child.