For the longest time, I have found it very easy to say: ‘I so TIG’ Interestingly though, 5 minutes later, after narrowly missing that coveted once in a lifetime opportunity to sail through flying school… all expenses paid, I am so distrought, crushed & bruised, wondering why God fell asleep when He promised to work it all out for me.
So, ya, what exactly does it mean to like so Totally Trust U God? … trashing all cliche & conditioning my heart to the reality of it?
Lord U know my desires… U know how much I want to take to the skies. You are the only one who knows how I desire for this ailments to go away. You surely know how much I already like her Lord; how easily we connect & how happy she makes me feel. With all my heart, I believe it’ll all happen & I’ll praise you for that. U say TIG is releasing ALL that I hold so dear to you Lord?… trusting that you will bless it & give it back to me, better than how I wanted it & had pictured it? You say that’s not all? That I’ll have to accept that you may have a totally different plan… and as hard as it is, I’ll need to be cool with that? Ok Lord, I release all my dreams to you… its the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do but I’ve surrendered to your will coz I trust U Lord. Should U decide not to heal me now, I’ll trust you still. If the skies are not the place for me, make it plain. Lord if you take her away from me, my heart will so break but I’ll accept it coz it’s your perfect will.
& why won’t I simply make my own decisions and follow my heart’s desires? I have my own mind U know. & judging by any standards, its a pretty fine one & its you who gave it to me. Truth is, I so know what I want & the thought of not having my way is unfathomably painful. However, I am immediately humbled by the reminder that I of so feeble a mind cannot quite grasp the workings of a God so infinite in Wisdom; I need to Trust you… You are all knowing & have only the best for me… I must Totally TIG… I will so Totally TIG.
-Author, Mbugua Paul-